Over this past weekend, I realized that I’m a really crappy fair weather friend. I know that people generally see the term Fair Weather Friend as a negative… someone who is only around when times are good. But what about the friends who only make time for you when times are not? Is that just as bad?
I forget to return phone calls and emails, can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to reschedule lunch appointments and just quiet hanging out time, and can’t be found on sunny breezy days. Is your life falling apart? Need an emergency babysitter or a place to crash or help with a crisis? I’m SO there.
I had to stop and wonder if that makes me a rubbernecker. You know the people I’m talking about… the ones who seem to ALWAYS be around whenever something bad happens. Do I just enjoy the train wreck? Is it that I’m ridiculously curious about other people’s bad luck?
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that every single person that I count on to be there when I need them… the ones who come hold my hand in the hospital… the ones who helped shovel out my parents belongings after the 500 year flood… are the friends that reschedule lunch, forget to return my phone calls and emails, and can’t be found on sunny breezy days.
I think it boils down to this… everyone I think of as a good friend shares only one trait. They all need to bring something of value to the table. If they can’t lend a hand, lend their experience, lend their knowledge, or lend their shoulder, chances are that I’m going to spend more time thinking “I haven’t seen her in a while, it’s been too long” instead of saying “It was great seeing you today. Same time on Thursday?”
I’m sure there are some people who manage to find a balance… who manage to be there often during sunny times and just as often during storms. Maybe they don’t live between 10 and 75 miles away. Maybe they have better time management skills. Maybe they try harder at it. Whatever it is, I am certain I’m never going to achieve that balance… so I’ll just be thankful to have my stormy weather friends and our sprinkling of sunny days together.