Inconsiderate Mom Award

I’ve had a huge mental barrier about writing this post. I know that we, as normal people, hate to make ourselves look bad and open up our less than attractive traits for the world to see. However, this has been clawing at me to get out and onto “paper” since it happened.

Mother’s Day is not the easiest day for my family. I don’t demand things or gripe that it’s My Day or any of that other garbage. I’m just a horrible “receiver”.

On past Mother’s Days I have, at different times, been presented with breakfast in bed (4 hours after I was ready to be out of bed… cold food/coffee…) and a single rose (the only bloom on my rose bush in the front yard) and left all by myself for peace and quiet (while the rest of the family laughs and talks and plays during their breakfast in the kitchen). So I thank my loving, generous, and kind family… and say “Please no more breakfasts in bed… I’d much rather enjoy breakfast with you guys!” I also may or may not have grumbled about having my only rose plucked from my bush.

This year, Sierra said “I don’t know why we do breakfast for you… it never ends well.” I felt like crap that I make them feel like their gifts aren’t appreciated. The SENTIMENT is always appreciated. But I feel like if it’s a gift FOR me, it should be something I want and enjoy.

So… this Mother’s Day, I got up at my normal time and spent some time hanging out with everyone. Anna was generously, once again, trying to please the unpleasable mommy. When I went to the kitchen for my lovingly prepared breakfast, I officially requested that we start going out for brunch on Mother’s Day.

My sweet daughter had placed on a (paper) plate:

  • One apple – Rarely has she actually seen me eat one of these… and I don’t eat sugar/carbs in the morning because it makes my blood sugar spike/drop and I get sick.
  • One container of yogurt – expired
  • 3 pieces of bacon – shaped into a smiley face! AWESOMENESS
  • 1 Bagel – still cold from the refrigerator and only slightly toasted
  • Jam – see above about carbs and blood sugar

She stood in the kitchen, SO disappointed, while I put the bagel back in the toaster, threw away the yogurt, put the apple back in the fruit basket, and fried myself an egg for a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese bagel. YES I felt like shit. YES I knew I hurt her feelings. But as my friend Heather (who was visiting) said that morning “I’ve only been here 3 weeks and I know you don’t eat sugars in the morning…”inconsideratemomaward

I know that it makes my family think they can’t possibly please me. Hell, it makes ME feel like I’m completely inconsiderate and ungrateful. No amount of kisses and hugs and “thank you for trying, baby” will make her feel like less of a failure that morning. But really, who accepts gifts that make them unhappy, lonely, or physically ill?

I know I should be more laid back about receiving gifts… but I’m not. And, if you’ve known me for longer than five minutes, you’ll know I probably won’t ever be. I’m just not programmed to paste on a smile and go with the flow. So I guess that means I get the Inconsiderate Mom Award. Uh… yay me…

Teach One To Lead One

My mini-me graduated from the Teach One to Lead One program through Celebrate Life International, last week. According to the website, it’s a Leadership Mentoring program that promotes:

“These universal ethical principles apply to anyone, anywhere, anytime:”

Respect Integrity Self-control Courage Humility
Excellence Compassion Enthusiasm Teamwork Honor

 

In a school that is known more for its gang activity and drop-out rate than it is for its academics, I’m thrilled that the students are being exposed to such self-esteem and leadership boosting programs. Some of these teens will have few other opportunities to learn these concepts.

My whole hearted thanks go out to Pebblebrook High School and Celebrate Life International for giving so many of these kids the knowledge that there is an alternative to the life their parents have modeled.

Congratulations Sierra… I’m proud of you, and of the responsible young woman you’re growing into.

Obligatory proud mommy moment
Obligatory proud mommy moment

My Perfectly Imperfect Mother’s Day Morning

On the one morning a year that my family would like for me to sleep in (so THEY can sleep in) and lounge about while they dote on me, I (of course) woke up at 5:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep.

I played some solitaire on my phone while lying still and trying to convince myself to get another hour or two of sleep. When that didn’t work, I took the longest most luxurious hot shower I can remember ever having. Then I dried myself with my brand new (58% off clearance!) Egyptian cotton towels. YAY BLISS.

When I crept to the kitchen to start the coffee pot, I found this at my spot on the kitchen table. It definitely put a big smile on my face while I was making the coffee and folding the first load of laundry of the day.

ThroneDrawing-Anna

After Mark woke up (ok… so he rolled over in his sleep and I pounced on him and told him since he was awake it was time for him to pay attention to me), and we headed back to the kitchen for more coffee, I found this on my laptop desk in the living room:

What About Then - Anna Rhoden

Anna wrote me a poem and titled it “What About Then“:

There’s always going to be someone,

To tell you when you’re right.

To praise your work

And lift you up when you’re not in a plight.

But what about those times,

When nothing seems to go right?

When mornings aren’t as bright,

And every step forward’s an uphill fight?

What can you do,

When everything goes wrong,

And you have to hide it,

And try to be strong?

Remember these words,

Which will always ring true:

You’re perfect, mom,

And I love you.

It’s not often that they make me cry before they’re even out of bed, but there you go. I made it to the last 4 lines before I started leaking. That’s got to be a record.

Last Week, You Learned To Walk

I have no idea how time passed so quickly. They were laying you in my arms for the first time ever, just a few short months ago… surely it couldn’t have been longer than that.

And wasn’t it just last week that you were learning to walk?

annababy2

And making everyone fall in love with those round little cheeks…

annawithneal

And developing your comedic timing (I think you peaked at just about this moment)…

anna5thbirthday

And becoming the big sister that your little sisters have always looked up to…

halloweenanna

How is it possible that you became a young lady…

prom

And achieved so many milestones…

driving

And had such fantastic experiences…

homecoming

In such a short amount of time?

 

To my dearest Anna Marie,

If I had done all the “right things” as a teenager, my life would never have held the richness, the love, the laughter, the tears, the memories, and the dreams of a bright future that having you has brought to it. I’m so thankful that the universe chose me to be your mom; and I’m stunned at what an amazing, beautiful, smart woman you have grown into.

It’s your time now… your time to go out and chase your dreams, make your mistakes, and achieve your successes. We’ll be waiting right here to catch you if you fall… now go spread those wings!

Happy 18th Birthday Anna!!

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